Handbasket To Hell

The only time Charlie Sheen was funny.

2011-09-13T22:52:00.000-07:00

Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen

Ok, maybe it was Martin that was funny.

They aren't patio furniture!!

2011-09-10T01:35:00.000-07:00

My sweet cat died Tuesday, well...I had her put down. I didn't want to, but she was sick...I could tell. I wanted to grab her carrier and bolt from the vets office, I wanted to sneak out the door in the exam room. Anything, but do what I know was coming. Renal Failure.
I have been alternating between numbness and sobbing for the last 3 days, she was my child...I had her since she was 8 weeks old. She was my family, the family that has died off one by one. She was my last tie to the man I loved, born at his parents. Fourteen years...fourteen.

NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FRIENDS FUCKING KITTEN!!!!

If your child died would you go right down to the fertility clinic to get pregnant so you can replace it??

She wasn't a thing, she can't be replaced!! LET ME MORN MY BABY!

Fucking Thieves

2011-02-18T00:18:00.000-08:00

I hope you choke to death on your next meal. I hope you die a slow and painful death. I hope my camera blows up in your face and blinds you. I hope my laptop leads a predator to your door and he tortures you and kills you. You are scum and less than human. Die. Die. Die!!!!

Thanksgiving...in hell

2010-11-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

What's worse than not having any family to celebrate the holidays with? Well...let's see...

The friend whose house you were going to go to comes down with the flu 2 days before Thanksgiving.
All your other friends have plans already.
Your turkey that you try to force thaw is mostly ready for the brine Wed. night.
During the night the brine bag leaks and your turkey isn't in much brine in the morning.
You discover your constipated......MASSIVELY!! (too many painkillers I guess)
You are doubled over in pain trying to pass the rock hard turd and have to dig it out with a spoon.
You clog the toilet when you finally get that brick to pass.
You have to mop and sanitize the bathroom to get the overflow cleaned up.
It is only 3 in the afternoon.

Yawn....It lives!

2010-05-20T21:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah...I am still here. A bit sick of the world and everyone in it. I grow increasingly frustrated with the common stupidity that has become hallmark of the 75% of the citizens of this great(?) nation.

I firmly believe (as Nazi as it sounds) that if we don't stop stupid people from killing themselves off by showering with the hair dryer, or diving into the shallow end of the pool, they will keep breeding and passing the stupid gene on. I say remove all common sense warnings for everything and let them fend for themselves! Of course, we will have to take the Bard's sage advice and kill the lawyers first.

Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

1906 - Theodore Roosevelt
1912 - Elihu Root
1919 - Woodrow Wilson
1925 - Sir Austen Chamberlain, Charles G. Dawes
1937 - Robert Cecil
1945 - Cordell Hull
1946 - Emily Greene Balch, John R. Mott
1952 - Albert Schweitzer
1962 - Linus Pauling
1964 - Martin Luther King Jr.
1973 - Henry Kissinger, Le Duc Tho
1979 - Mother Teresa
1984 - Desmond Tutu
1983 - Lech Walesa
2008 - Martti Ahtisaari

Listed above is a short list of those men and women who have, through their service to mankind, been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Statesmen, servants of God, Healers of bodies and souls, all great men and women and organizations who have sought to make the world a better place for all.

2009 Barack Obama

Who had done....................................................nothing.

What the fuck??????????????????????????

Hypocrite!!

2009-10-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

So after lambasting Senator Vitter, Congressman Foley, Eliot Spitzer and the rude and crude remarks about Sarah Palins daughter and calling Palin a "Slut", it appears Mr. Letterman is an authority on promiscuity and hypocrisy!

He has the gall to say-"It's been a very bizarre experience," he said. "I felt like I needed to protect these people. I need to protect my family. I need to protect myself. Hope to protect my job."

Protect his family? He has been in a relationship with his now-wife since the 80's....how is multiple affairs going to protect them??? Protect his job??? There's the ticket!!

CBS said that its policies regarding harassment on the job. "Worldwide Pants does have a policy. A spokesman issued a statement that read: “Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him.” The spokesman said the policy “does not prohibit relationships within the company — only that they cannot be tied to an employee’s performance.”

Of course the women haven't raised a complaint...they are trying to protect their jobs too! Can you even imagine they will ever work in the industry in Hollyweird if they file a suit???

I haven't watched Letterman since he was such a total smug asshole in the past Presidential election time, I will not be so stupid to tune in now to watch and see if he gets a hand-slap. You gotta know to the old boys in the corner office it is just a wink-wink, nudge-nudge situation and Worldwide (open)Pants will just get a new sexual harassment policy.

Thought I was a Right-Wing Redneck, didn't ya....

2009-08-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

You Are 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

From The Reverend Billy Graham....

2009-07-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Truth.........from a man the media has never been able to throw dirt on.

THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!

One Nation Under God.

Perez Hilton gets his comeuppance!

2009-06-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

The blogging faggot (His favorite slur) got punched by Black Eye Peas manager Polo Molina because Hilton was running off at the mouth at wil.i.am and wouldn't shut his piehole. Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa!
Now he is suing...big surprise... "The suit states Hilton is seeking to protect his rights to free speech and claims Polo Molina attacked him because he made critical comments about the Black Eyed Peas' new album."

EXCUSE ME??? Isn't this the same fuck wad who blasted Miss California, calling her a "Dumb Bitch" and saying it was the worst answer in pageant history?? What about HER right to free speech and not be penalized for it?

YOU ARE A HYPOCRITICAL FUCK-TARD MARIO!
The only bad thing is Polo missed your mouth and got your eye!!

Jon and Kate plus lawyers and mediators....

2009-06-24T01:22:00.001-07:00

Big Suprise, Miss OCD-Queen Bitch and Mr. Pussy Whipped-Wimp are getting a divorce.

Lets see how much more these nit-wit, money grubbing, attention seeking genetic screw-ups can fuck those poor kids up. If growing up in a fish bowl isn't bad enough, now the trauma of divorce! I never could separate the idea of the exploitation of the Deonne quintuplets at the hand of Dr. Dafoe, and the exploitation of the Gosselin sextuplets by their parents.

Wish I was lactose intolerant....

2009-06-10T15:03:00.001-07:00

In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: "Barocky Road."

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.

The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00...per scoop.

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

A bit late to the party

2009-05-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

WooHoo!!!

Finally, the majority vote is upheld and Prop. 8 stands!!!

Now maybe some people will realize that the gay community doesn't have the RIGHT TO WIN!!! That a voice of opposition has just as much right to be heard, and to be upheld by a fair vote by society. That because some of us who feel that a sexual preference does not a social group make, we have the right to vote to uphold our beliefs.

Sure, you have the right to say we are wrong, but that is just an opinion...doesn't make it right, doesn't make it wrong, it just makes it yours.

The system worked this time, the will of the voters was upheld.

Dear Mom.....

2009-05-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day where ever you are. Heaven...Hell....the grave?

Here I sit, still crying ("being melodramatic" in your words) over my internal pain. Here is a secret I never told you...Dad was molesting me. Maybe it wasn't a secret, you were always telling him to stop trying to wrestle with me, "She is too old for that".You knew, didn't you?

You didn't care about me enough to make sure did you? No, that would mean you would have to think about someone other than yourself....and your wants and needs.

How I hated Mothers Day, trying to find a card that said what I felt, Hallmark doesn't make a "I hate you Mother" card.... I looked.

You were the reason that my brother and I never had children, we didn't know if we could love our children because we never learned it from you and Dad. We figured our gene pool had better run dry.

They say to get well you have to forgive. How can I when I still Hate/Want to be loved by you so much still and you have been dead for 4 years? I can't forgive Dad and he has been dead for 25!!!

Happy Mothers Day...why could you love me?

Pass the cheese

2009-04-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

It will be 90 degrees over the weekend. Time to haul my old and flabby ass up on the roof and uncover the swamp cooler.

Did it.

Lazy rat bastard who covered it last winter? Didn't drain it. He just covered it up and left it for 6 months. I knew I should have done it myself. The pads look like a science experiment...at least 3 kinds of mold.

One and a half hours later...it is bleached, wiped, with new pads and filling to test run.

I am woman....hear me swear!!

What the hell is wrong with Quiznos?

2009-03-26T22:19:00.001-07:00

As if the weird "hell if I know what it is" creature pushing Quiznos crappy sandwiches wasn't bad enough.

Now we have a creepy toaster oven that begs the sandwich guy to "Put it in me"....What the hell is wrong with their advertising department? Do they think this butt puckering invitation is going to make me run right down for a perv sandwich??

Sick, Sick, Sick. Hello Subway.

The video of the Octomom giving birth!

2009-03-21T00:25:00.000-07:00

I am totally gobsmacked to find that there are actually some feeble minded twits out there who feel sorry for the twisted piece of humanity who brought 8 poor little souls into the world to serve as her doorway to fame and fortune and live out her Angelina Jolie fantasy.

On the lighter side.......

Dickheads

2009-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Ok...listen up guys....ENOUGH ALREADY ABOUT YOUR PENIS!!!

If I see one more Enzyte, Cialis, Viagra, Pos-t-vac or Extenze commercial I am going to go Lorina Bobbit on the next man I see!!!

I am so sick of "male inhancement" and I don't give a rats ass about "that special part of the male anatomy"! I have had 12 inches...it fucking hurt!!! We are talking blood and episiotomy city here people! The Gyno suggested 2 choices...more lube (and lots of it) or go smaller. I chose the latter.

Real life isn't like a porno site guys, a woman doesn't mind a smaller dick as long as you know what to do with it! We all don't want a baseball bat shoved up our twat, just some mind blowing loving!!

Get real "Smiling Bob" and shut up or I will wipe that stupid grin off your ugly mug!

Hello New Year

2009-01-04T15:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the madness I call reality!

Another holiday season in the bag, another calender trashed and a new one hung, another tax season to get my shit together for. Yippy Skippy!!

Wonder what the new administration will do to this country, can the democrats messiah raise our dead economy like Lazarus?? Can he lay his hands on the health care system and make it possible for the poor lame to walk and the lower middle class to be insured and their sight restored? Will he walk across the sea and quiet the middle east so our soldiers can come home? Say Hallelujah brothers and sisters, President Obama has come to save us all!

Christmas time again, huh....

2008-12-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

Great. Fabulous. Wonderful.

Tons of self-absorbed people running around paying no attention to who or what is going on around them. I have been nearly hit while driving the city streets 3 times in the last 2 days. Assholes.

Thank the Lord for friends, spending Christmas alone again this year was too dismal to think about. Hope they like the Kalauah laced Banana Bread I baked as a gift. Never show up at dinner empty handed.

It's not brain surgery!

2008-12-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

Listen you stupid twit, either give the woman her dollar off with the coupon you keep saying is expired or ask her to drive around and come inside and discuss it. Just use your so called managerial skills to get her butt out of the drive through line before my breakfast is cold and I am late to work!

Freaking scary!

2008-12-06T23:01:00.001-08:00

Yeah....I'd quit drinking, right after I cleaned the crap out of my underwear!

Keepin' the faith!

2008-12-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

the⋅o⋅ry [thee-uh-ree, theer-ee]

-noun, plural -ries.

A proposed explanation whose status is still conjectural, in contrast to well-established propositions that are regarded as reporting matters of actual fact.

ie: Theory of Evolution

Please don't insult my intelligence by telling me there is no God and the Bible is a storybook filled with mythic legends. It is called faith. I choose to believe I am a divine creation not a gorilla's crotch-droplet. I believe there is life after death and it was planned by my Creator. The theory of evolution is called that because it is based upon interpretation of data that there is no solid proof for. Maybe the missing link is missing because it does not exist? If that is what you want to have faith in....your choice.

If I am wrong, upon death I wink out of existence, if you (Mr./Ms. Atheist) are wrong....you get an eternity of torment and damnation. That is a crap shoot I wouldn't want to roll the dice for.

So?

2008-11-26T20:55:00.000-08:00

Yeah...I saw your comment...so what? Did I promise to publish them? I don't think so. If you have something interesting to say...maybe I will.

Refer to the profile description.

What an ass.

2008-11-26T20:09:00.000-08:00

One of my co-workers brothers stopped in the office today, from the break room I heard him ask if her son would be there for the Thanksgiving dinner, she gave an affirmative to that and added that her grandchildren would be there as well. The brother asked about the son's wife, "no", my co-worker replied she was going to her family. "Why doesn't she come with B"? (The son) "Are they separated?"
"If she had her way," was was his sisters reply. "What a bitch", he said. "She married him, what's her problem, she should be with him".

Hmmmmmmmm.....
I held my tongue but what I wanted to say was that when the wife married B, he was a reasonably productive member of socity, he had a job, kids that he loved and shared custody of and had a future. Now he had a back injury and no job, he was too lazy to get off his ass and get his workers comp to fix his back and instead became a drug addict. They lost their house, custody of the children and she is supporting him. She hasn't left because she loves him and is afraid he will kill himself so she continues to enable him. At least his mother saw the light and kicked him out after he nearly burned down her house while he was stoned.

This is this guys nephew! What an ass. Of course he hasn't worked a day in 7 years, since his diagnosis of CHF. Too weak. Right....he can hike around taking photographs in the mountains, but he can't hold down a job so he is a "caregiver" to his father and lives of his pension.

Dumb animals?

2008-11-24T18:30:00.000-08:00

A video titled: "My Dogs greeting me after returning from 14 months in Iraq". God bless and save all of those defending us abroad. And their dogs waiting for them patiently at home:

Booze test

2008-11-18T22:13:00.000-08:00

94%DRUNKARD

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

The weird thing is that I drink maybe twice a year....I just read alot.

I learned my lesson from the love of my life. Unfortunately for me, he loved beer more than I. Now he is in a nursing home pissing into a diaper from that stroke. He is 54.

Wanna know what I think?

2008-11-05T22:40:00.000-08:00

Since I am not planning to blog everyday, I thought I would leave this thought here to languish for a spell.

Since when is a sexual preference the bases for a social group in a moral society?

I am so sick of hearing how homosexuality is not abnormal, how it is not a deviant behavior. How gays have rights. Phooey!!!

1. This is a Judeo/Christian nation with the morals following the teaching of said religions. While God loves the individual, the act is immoral and completely unacceptable. Then again, so is adultery, murder and a list of other no-no's that decent people try to stay away from anyway, if that is unacceptable to you...TOUGH! Go to a country that isn't based on these philosophies.

2. It is not "natural", the anus is meant for the elimination of bodily waste, not to have a penis crammed into, male or female. The requirement of nature for the species is a male and a female. You can have a 1000 roosters but you will never get an egg. The male/female genitalia fit together in a way to facilitate reproduction and it feels pretty darn good too.

3. Homosexuality is a deviation. To accept otherwise gives validity to NAMBA, and sheep fuckers. You can argue that minor boys and sheep aren't able to make a personal choice in the matter and your right....but it is still a sexual deviation none the less and so is homosexuality. IT IS NOT A STRATA OF SOCIETY!! What goes on in your bedroom is your business and does not mean laws need to be changed to facilitate your sexual lifestyle. Marriage is the union of a man and woman, not two men, two women, a woman and a Doberman, or a man with 14 year old boy.

The morals of this nation are all but gone. Self-indulgence has taken the place community service. Personal gain has over-shadowed charitable works. Family values has gone down the tubes. Is it any wonder that America is becoming vilified all over the world? What once was a paragon of hope is now a testament to failure. We need to return to a time when we were a God fearing nation. When we knew the difference between right and wrong and tried to stay on the side of right, not wander off onto any path that "feels right". We understood God was God and didn't try to make Him into a kinder and more accepting Deity that would accept those who broke His laws because they think He should.

This is my opinion, if you don't like it TOUGH!! Climb back into your handbasket to Hell, I am going to try to walk the path of the righteous, without letting you try to ridicule and deride me for wanting to please my Lord and not my fellow man.