Thanksgiving...in hell

What's worse than not having any family to celebrate the holidays with? Well...let's see...

1. The friend whose house you were going to go to comes down with the flu 2 days before Thanksgiving.
2. All your other friends have plans already.
3. Your turkey that you try to force thaw is mostly ready for the brine Wed. night.
4. During the night the brine bag leaks and your turkey isn't in much brine in the morning.
5. You discover your constipated......MASSIVELY!! (too many painkillers I guess)
6. You are doubled over in pain trying to pass the rock hard turd and have to dig it out with a spoon.
   
7. You clog the toilet when you finally get that brick to pass.
8. You have to mop and sanitize the bathroom to get the overflow cleaned up.
9. It is only 3 in the afternoon.
   

Yawn....It lives!

Yeah...I am still here. A bit sick of the world and everyone in it. I grow increasingly frustrated with the common stupidity that has become hallmark of the 75% of the citizens of this great(?) nation.

I firmly believe (as Nazi as it sounds) that if we don't stop stupid people from killing themselves off by showering with the hair dryer, or diving into the shallow end of the pool, they will keep breeding and passing the stupid gene on. I say remove all common sense warnings for everything and let them fend for themselves! Of course, we will have to take the Bard's sage advice and kill the lawyers first.

Nobel Peace Prize

• 1906 - Theodore Roosevelt
• 1912 - Elihu Root
• 1919 - Woodrow Wilson
• 1925 - Sir Austen Chamberlain, Charles G. Dawes
• 1937 - Robert Cecil
• 1945 - Cordell Hull
• 1946 - Emily Greene Balch, John R. Mott
• 1952 - Albert Schweitzer
• 1962 - Linus Pauling
• 1964 - Martin Luther King Jr.
• 1973 - Henry Kissinger, Le Duc Tho
• 1979 - Mother Teresa
• 1984 - Desmond Tutu
• 1983 - Lech Walesa
• 2008 - Martti Ahtisaari

Listed above is a short list of those men and women who have, through their service to mankind, been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Statesmen, servants of God, Healers of bodies and souls, all great men and women and organizations who have sought to make the world a better place for all.

• 2009 Barack Obama

Who had done....................................................nothing.

What the fuck??????????????????????????

Hypocrite!!

So after lambasting Senator Vitter, Congressman Foley, Eliot Spitzer and the rude and crude remarks about Sarah Palins daughter and calling Palin a "Slut", it appears Mr. Letterman is an authority on promiscuity and hypocrisy!

He has the gall to say-"It's been a very bizarre experience," he said. "I felt like I needed to protect these people. I need to protect my family. I need to protect myself. Hope to protect my job."

Protect his family? He has been in a relationship with his now-wife since the 80's....how is multiple affairs going to protect them??? Protect his job??? There's the ticket!!

CBS said that its policies regarding harassment on the job. "Worldwide Pants does have a policy. A spokesman issued a statement that read: “Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him.” The spokesman said the policy “does not prohibit relationships within the company — only that they cannot be tied to an employee’s performance.”

Of course the women haven't raised a complaint...they are trying to protect their jobs too! Can you even imagine they will ever work in the industry in Hollyweird if they file a suit???

I haven't watched Letterman since he was such a total smug asshole in the past Presidential election time, I will not be so stupid to tune in now to watch and see if he gets a hand-slap. You gotta know to the old boys in the corner office it is just a wink-wink, nudge-nudge situation and Worldwide (open)Pants will just get a new sexual harassment policy.

Thought I was a Right-Wing Redneck, didn't ya....

You Are 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

From The Reverend Billy Graham....

Truth.........from a man the media has never been able to throw dirt on.

THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!

One Nation Under God.

Perez Hilton gets his comeuppance!

The blogging faggot (His favorite slur) got punched by Black Eye Peas manager Polo Molina because Hilton was running off at the mouth at wil.i.am and wouldn't shut his piehole. Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa!
Now he is suing...big surprise... "The suit states Hilton is seeking to protect his rights to free speech and claims Polo Molina attacked him because he made critical comments about the Black Eyed Peas' new album."

EXCUSE ME??? Isn't this the same fuck wad who blasted Miss California, calling her a "Dumb Bitch" and saying it was the worst answer in pageant history?? What about HER right to free speech and not be penalized for it?





YOU ARE A HYPOCRITICAL FUCK-TARD MARIO!
The only bad thing is Polo missed your mouth and got your eye!!