Dear Mom.....

Happy Mothers Day where ever you are. Heaven...Hell....the grave?

Here I sit, still crying ("being melodramatic" in your words) over my internal pain. Here is a secret I never told you...Dad was molesting me. Maybe it wasn't a secret, you were always telling him to stop trying to wrestle with me, "She is too old for that".You knew, didn't you?

You didn't care about me enough to make sure did you? No, that would mean you would have to think about someone other than yourself....and your wants and needs.

How I hated Mothers Day, trying to find a card that said what I felt, Hallmark doesn't make a "I hate you Mother" card.... I looked.

You were the reason that my brother and I never had children, we didn't know if we could love our children because we never learned it from you and Dad. We figured our gene pool had better run dry.

They say to get well you have to forgive. How can I when I still Hate/Want to be loved by you so much still and you have been dead for 4 years? I can't forgive Dad and he has been dead for 25!!!

Happy Mothers Day...why could you love me?